Calling GOD a Liar

This idea of not believing that God has my best interest in mind has been stirring in me lately.
I can look on the dark side of every situation in my life or in someone else's life easily.
I am an unemployed, single girl, still living with my parent's at 22 years old. I don't have a car, I haven't gone to college so therefore there are few good fields in which I could work to have a good career. My heart is torn between two very different sides of the world (the beautiful Astoria, Oregon and Cambodia, both I love equally!!) All of these things are against me in our modern culture! I can naturally fall into this negative thinking process without any effort whatsoever.
BUT GOD, He is Faithful to remind me of REALITY. "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice!...Be anxious for NOTHING, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made know to God; and the PEACE of God, which surpasses ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and MINDS through Christ Jesus. Finally brethern, whatever things are TRUE...HONORABLE...just...PURE...lovely...good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--MEDITATE on these things." (Phil 4)
God tells me in the book of James 1:12-15 that He NEVER tempts me. Temptations come from my own sinful desires which entices me and drags me away "These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death."
He goes on..."So don't be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is GOOD and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. HE NEVER CHANGES...He chose to give birth to us by giving us His true Word. And WE, OUT OF ALL CREATION, became His PRIZED POSSESSION."
Covetousness is listed among the "really bad" sins such as MURDER, LYING, SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE...so therefore, if I am coveting someone else because they are married, or they have a job, etc, then I am treading on dangerous ground!!!
In a round-about-way in my own mind I am telling God (who said all those beautiful things), "Wow, God...You really know how to make my life a mess. You know I want to be married, You know I want to have some sort of structure in my life (a.k.a. a job), You know I want to live on my own, You know everything and You're all powerful yet You choose to make me wait...and for what, God?!! I obviously know more than You do! Because this isn't the way I wanted my life to be...!"
How awful that sounds when I type it out! :( :(
All I have to do is read some of the old testament stories or like Abraham and how he had to wait years and years and YEARS for the promise that GOD Himself gave to Abraham.
Or take a look at Joseph!!! Dang! Wouldn't that have been frustrating! His brothers hated him, threw him in a pit, sold him as a slave to Egypt, falsely accused and thrown into jail, etc. It wasn't tell YEARS had passed before he understood what God was doing....
How stupid it is for me to even question God's sovereignty. Not only is God all powerful but He is also FULL of compassion! (How many leaders who have so much power also possess so much compassion???)

Even if things don't turn out the way I would want them to, it's OKAY. Because when I stand before JESUS when I die or He comes to take us Home, I won't be standing before you or anyone else and have to make an account for my life. Anything I did on my own, any selfish desire I had will be a WASTE!! If it isn't God's best plan for me to be married and I get married then that will be a sad thing on that Day I'm sure.
BUT! Praise GOD, He can turn even our stupidity into glory for Him! He makes ALL things work together for good for those who love Him...even our mistakes...THAT should make me all the more want to give ALL of my life to Him...not to hold anything back.
It says in Psalms that He remembers that we are made up of dust. The only thing good in my is Jesus Christ...and when He sees us who have put our trust and hope in Him, then He doesn't see our filthiness.... <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">He only sees how perfect His Son is when He looks at us...and we are always in His sight. =)

Lana Salisbury