Jesus As My Husband

Dear reader,
As you gathered from my summary of my trip to Cambodia I desire extreemly to go back and serve God there.
I have been getting confermation after confermation through His Word and through other people, but, that is not what I want ultimatily. You see, in the past few weeks Jesus has been showing Himself to me as my Husband and not just a Father. (Though He is my Father indeed!)
My pastor has been studying the Psalms with us and a few weeks ago I knew that He would be reading Psalm 45, so I read ahead.
And as I was soaking up that particular Psalm I read verses 10 and 11 which read, "Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and they father's house; So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship though him." (I use the King James Version.)
For me, "Cambodia" was written all over that! And boy, was I excited! It spoke to me directly! I personaly am being called by my King, and I am being told to forget the ones that I am close to and forget my family.
And that doesn't mean that I am to never talk to them ever again. But as it says in Luke 14:26-28, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brthern, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?" Is my love for Christ so great that the love I have for my family and others seems as hatered? And even to my ownself? I realized what this ment when I went to Cambodia and my brother, whom I love very much, went to Africa on a mission trip for 6 months. We don't hate one another, but the love that we have for each other is by no means going to stop us from going where Jesus leads us because we love Him so much! There is no question there!

Psalm 45:11 really stops me in my tracks. I can talk about how I love God and what it means to me, and how I am learning to love Him more and see Him as He really is. And I can see and understand why I would want God to make Him my King...but, it's the fact that He greatly desires my beauty.... I am not beautiful. I'm filthy and I've done things that I can't take back and so on. But what it all comes down to is that God sees me clean, pure, white, clothed in the perfectness of His Son Jesus Christ, so I can stand before Him unashamed! That is why He desires me greatly...!
He is my Lord. When you are a servant, your only consern is whatever your master wants.
And the last part of that verse says, "...and worship thou him." What else can I do besides to fall down before the One Who spoke and the worlds were created, and the One Who speaks to me everyday, all day comforting and guiding me. The One that I can be in an intimate relationship because He washed away my sin! It's nothing I did. It's His kindness that leads me to repentance. So that is why I worship Him.

Joshua 23:8 and 10, "Cleave unto the LORD your God...for the LORD your God, He it is that fights for you...."
As a married couple you are supposed to "leave and cleave". And I am realizing more and more that I, as a Christian, Christ's bride, am supposed to "leave" the world and "cleave" to Christ.

This is only the beggining of this life with my Husband and I'm very excited about it!

May God's grace be with you!